A great thing going....going...GONE....?!

Sometimes you have a great thing going...and life seems to be all on track...
It all seems worth living for and you dont need a "happiness project" to help to tie you over to be a happy human being whom other people like to be around..

And then, as if out of nowhere, somebody makes a comment.....sometimes an innocent comment...but it gets taken the wrong way...or the right way sometimes???!!! ..... and things go wrong... completely wrong...

And all of a sudden it has a ripple effect and the whole crowd around gets affected by it..the mood suddenly drops...the cookie crumbles and voila - life is not that great anymore - all of a sudden ??!!!

Tonight was one of those nights....Last night was one of those too...

Maybe you need those incidents sometimes...because here I am... 1 am in the morning - wondering why we sometimes make each other so unhappy..... had it not happened, I would have not thought so long and hard about what is really important in life..... and how we let our things and own ideas and ideals get in the way of precious, personal relationships...

I wish I can fix everything in a day...but some of it takes time...and only on one of the "lows"...you realize..that some things you better pay attention to...or it will be too late ..?! My kids are growing up..... and time with them are precious. We can not control how they react and respond....and it is very easy losing them somewhere inbetween.....

So it started !!!

Those lists were glaring at me for a day...so I started the huge project of getting things OFF THE LIST !!!

Said I would...

Jumped into action that same day and swopped 4 rooms in the house.

The old toyroom went from this:

to this......

and this....

with everyone getting involved...

and some even a little in the way...??!!

ooooh...that evil look I got when I found her??!!

I see a GARAGE SALE coming up  - can't believe it ?! 

Have never been a garage sale person...but this is now my last resort of de-cluttering my life .

What a shame - so many perfectly good and valuable toys, but WAY in EXCESS and the space could be put to better use ! 

Now to put a new life into this room...

and THAT is the part I REALLY LOVE DOING !!! 

Re-doing ROOMS ...

so many ideas...

so little time...

and the reality of the money it takes...uggh !!!

But - will see what I can do .... 

WATCH THIS SPACE !

A life of LISTS !!!

I am a LIST person. Once I have everything on a "to do" list...I can sit back and relax.

I feel like I achieved a lot, even though I have not even made a start ?!

All the million things that are on my mind, are jotted down and I can start to think and focus again...not feeling the burden of all the things I have to (or sometimes "choose" to) do...

Making the list is a huge milestone in itself to me.

Here are my lists - now you can laugh at me ...

(This is a little piece of the inside of my brain - on STICKY NOTES !!!)

Yes - it is neverending....

and the scary part is that every little post-it represents a ton of work...

so, be afraid..

be very afraid if you are anywhere near me and in a place where you could get ordered around by me to lend a hand..!!!!!

But I have every intention to start NOW and DO the things I jotted down.

Gotta go...need to go fill up these pages !!

Shoes, oh shoes....

...can never have enough of those, can you??

Bought these ones the other day - oh, so cheeky... will wear them maybe ....once??
But couldn't resist - nevertheless.....

They are not the most practical kind....

...but you need those kinds of shoes too..! Sure, you'll agree. Thanks. Thought so.

My life PILED up ...!!! Who noticed??

Yesterday we ended up behind this truck.....it felt like looking straight into my head...and my LIFE at this specific point in time !!

I have so many things piled up on top of each other...in no specific order and a lot of junk inbetween the useful bits?!

The load is a little too heavy for the capacity of my brain right now and some bits are at high risk of simply dropping off somewhere along the road....although I have it all tied in and attached to me - somehow.......anxiously clinging to every bit that I possibly can carry around with me!!

I could not help but wonder whether all these pieces are REALLY worth taking along and whether the owner should have not taken stock a little bit deciding which ones are really worth over-burdening the body of his truck??  But then again- who am I to suggest a crazy idea like that???? - maybe he is exactly like me - not able right now to determine what is important, what is urgent, what is needed, what can wait, what can go...... simply carrying EVERYTHING along - hoping that one of these good days - I will find the time to sort between it all and put it ALL to good use and in good order and find a PLACE for every little item and every bit of detail I want to somehow orchestrate !

I am sure I am not the only one whose load looks like this???!!! It is just that it was never my idea to end up like this??! But it ended up one of those nasty realities that made me think of this blog.

See - I am a SUPER organiser ! Yes..that is one thing I have enough proof of and others to vouch for it, that I can say it with confidence. Because - to be honest..my first instinct was to pull this guy over to the side of the street and unpack the whole truck, sort it between like-items and then to re-pack it from him in a neat, tidy, organised way that would make any mess look like a Martha Stewart invention.

But, I have my own sorting out to be done. So - I  just let him go...

I am just wondering why I dont let go a few of my "ideas"...a few of my "projects" .... a few "items" that I really do not need to have anymore.... a few activities that I really dont need to squeeze into a day that has too little hours already...WHY oh WHY do I carry a load like this in my mind, my body, my house and my LIFE??!!!!

It happened over a couple of months...
Things got a little out of hand over the past few months when stress took the better of me... And so things started to end up in little corners of my house and some in little corners of my head....and now they need to all fall back into place.
I have a life strategy - and that is to have a SPECIFIC place for EACH SPECIFIC item ...and that somehow got a little off track when life got too busy and too complicated. And in a house of 650 square meters (almost 7000 square foot), that can very easily happen ! But looking at this guy yesterday and just laughing at the very idea that people will look at me this way if they had ANY idea what goes on in my head and house right now...... I am very determined to sort that ALL out.... before anyone notices (am I the only thinking no one noticed??!!....)

In principle I have taken a decision to de-clutter my life....and are somewhat in process.....

and I will report back on my progress on this blog (by the way - did I mention that keeping a blog was exactly to find a place where I could blow off steam when I got run over by this "life-truck of stuff" of mine...)

I am not a clutter-person and dont have a lot of junk...but I DO have a lot of STUFF !! It creates some level of discomfort to think that I will just get rid of some things and the next week I would need one of the old masks I chucked in the bin for one of the kids' dress up costumes for a concert or something !!

But then again - I try to think of the load that will be lifted off my shoulders once I have at least scanned every item in this house again and have sifted through things and will feel on top of it !!

There is nothing wrong with having all the things..but when I realised that when I could not pay full attention anymore, it got the better of me..then I realised it is too much. It can only be good as long as it can stay under control without having someone to have to pay full attention to keeping things under control all the time.

So, I better be off to start sifting and sorting.... starting with my house and the items around me...then the almost 90 000 photos on my computer that needs organising and then last - but CERTAINLY not least - starting to go through the IDEAS in my head ..that I keep toying around with and that I hope ONE DAY I will have time to turn into REALITIES...so I would have some REAL IDEAS to blog about !!!!!

The truck's body, carrying the load, is also not quite what it used to be.... or should be..or could be...SAME HERE .....but taking into account that it still carries the rest, it survives...but only just survives...definitely does not thrive.....and is a little shameful, to say the least.  It is exactly because of the load it carries, that there is not really time to think of or spent time on getting the body back in shape...and while it is still able to do the job...well, I guess - it just sometimes does...so - it is not just the pile ON TOP..but the body below - that is all in need of serious sorting out....

But - first things FIRST... I will report back !