After that horrible and disturbing picture in the previous post, I decided to blog about something else so I could push that image down in case people think this blog is about domestic violence..?
And what better topic than to turn to those things which could be directly attributed the origin of my stress which led to the need for a massage as described in "Massage Madness"..?!
And one of the biggest stressors....
......THAT - I can assure you, was not MY idea ..but it is THE BIGGEST REALITY of my life at this moment??! And to try and even begin to describe how my idea of owning a dog has changed over the past month to the most extreme ends on both sides of the pendulum is impossible, but I will try...
Seven years after discovering for the first time, my son's intense longing for a dog, we finally gave in.
Previous reasons such as...you are too small to take care of a dog, we move too many times, we are gone for a months at a time on holidays, we live in an apartment (once did but no more) .....and the list goes on.....just did not seem justifyable anymore? Especially since he was joined by 2 sisters who now also have longed to have a dog of their own since as long as I can remember them able to express themselves in word!
My husband and kids are all animal LOVERS!!! I have to admit that I am not one. I get allergies, I dont like the licking and the hair everywhere... I dont like carrying them around feeling like you are carrying someone without underwear on..?! (eek??) I really don't hate them...I am just personally not fond of or cuddly with animals. SORRY - I know that is terrible...but....having said that..I DO acknowledge the longing for your own pet and the incredible meaning it adds to people's lifes.
So, for the sake of being a good mom as I always strive to be - I too could not bear not giving them the opportunity to have a pet to care for. And asking my son one evening at bedtime, shortly before Christmas, "...Is there anything you think you will say " I really regret not having.....when I grew up.....??? And his answer.....Need I even say?
As a christmas gift to the 3 of them together, we promised to get a dog as soon as we were back in the country where we live. The excitement and joy was overwhelming. Already a year ago, the dog even got a name from my son.....he would be called Humphrey!
Finally came time to get them..and my husband had another IDEA.... we should get TWO puppies. This way they would not be so alone the whole day when the kids are at school or when we go on holiday.
We got them about 5 weeks ago - 70 days old. Had them a week - oh my word...was that the biggest wake-up call I got about how my life would never be the same again....?! Chasing between the 2 dogs and the 3 year-old the whole day by myself...trying to save them from one another???!!
Those were the days before I started blogging, so in order to try and save my sanity I wrote my husband a 7 page letter about how my life has become a living hell...(did I mention that might be one of the reason he is so keen on me blogging everything out to the world instead of writing him letters?).
We had them only a week when diarrhea broke out...took them to the vet who confirmed they came from the breeder with the Corona Virus. An exhausting week followed with taking them in daily for care and getting them at night for there is no 24 hour fascility. And finally they were back home for the long weekend. Great - Finally a time the whole family can share the new additions to the family without a schedule...a long blissful weekend lied ahead of us. The puppies - Humphrey (the cute, little one who was our first choice and immediately got a soft spot in everyone's heart) and Griffin (the slightly bigger, fiesty, more naughty one who tackled his brother playfully all the time and who brought energy and excitement into the home) would finally be able to get full attention in this house where they have already taken over as if they own it !
That weekend had all the promise to be a good one… a long weekend with no commitments other than wining and dining with friends and lots of family time we so crave to have during busy periods. Life is pretty much on track over here within the reality of the “downsides” we all have. Husband was away and I had to run the show over here. Not that I complain too much as he does not travel that much and we do get a little bit more done when there are fewer schedules to take into account.
So – the idea of a dinner date on every day of the long weekend sounded swell even though we were not breaking away out-of-town like most others did. The glowing sparkles from the sun on the pure white snow on the ground looked promising for a bright and cheerful weekend to say the least. On the way to our first dinner date on Friday evening, the first blow came with the news that a lifelong friend tried to take her own life… Relieved that this did not result in tragedy, the heartbreaking part was that I could totally understand WHY she tried to do that. But the sadness and desperation in this whole act is nothing to party about and so the party mood started to wean a little bit. Hours on the phone with her family kept me up in the night and worries over her condition stressed me out...not mentioning the fact that she also runs a business for us which now needed alternative arrangements in a country very far from where I am.
Saturday it was my turn to be hostess for a dinner party and so it was a busy day getting everything ready. Chilling with people we have not had over before was fun as we got to know everyone a little better and they were good company.
Saturday evening when all chat and laughter died down and the guests left, I made a quick phone call to check up on family just to find out that my mom had been admitted to hospital. She has entered the final phase of Alzheimer’s and has become “impossible” to deal with at home. This resulted in her being admitted to hospital in an attempt to get her on medication to calm her down to enable her caregiver and my dad to cope with her for whatever lies ahead in this final phase. Long conversations across the globe kept me up till 2 in the morning again and even after that it was extremely difficult to sleep. Stress kept mounting up as many decisions has to be taken in these times of an Alzheimer patient's care. They administered medication that resulted in other physical inabilities that suddenly set in and seeing her over Skype not able to stand upright any longer and walking sideways and unbalanced threw me completely off to say the least....
Sunday morning I got a call from our temporary helper (the whole reason why we have a temporary one is a BLOG on its OWN...about my runaway nanny - but that later!)..... She slipped on the ice on Saturday and broke her back and this would mean the end of work for her.....and 6 months in hospital on her back at least??!!! What sad news...
Going downstairs to share the news, I found my sobbing daughter sitting next to the pups watching over them as Humphrey's condition again deteriorated. Extensive tests were done and Monday morning we got a call from the vet who diagnosed Intesucceptus (large intestines going into the smaller intestines and cutting off blood supply) and this resulted in a 4 hour surgery and astronomic fees …but most of all sadness about this new puppy having to go through all this ….
Humphrey never recovered after surgery and after 2 days of intense anxiety and fading hope I got a call to tell me that he passed away... This after the little one prayed for him (and immediately declared - he's fine now?! .....and then just gave a bit of advice that we should put a band aid on and he will be perfect !.... not getting the reality of any of this....
Oh - the SADNESS of all this was overwhelming on everyone. My husband came home late that evening and we could just cry together over our glass of red wine at the kitchen table - not only for our own pain and heartache (see - by this time even I had been converted to love and adore them since they were so cute) ....but also to feel the pain our kids were having over this joyous occassion of getting puppies that has too soon turned into tragedy?!
Sunday was a day of feeling exhausted..emotionally drained and the effect of 2 nights with hardly any sleep kicked in ( and I can get by with VERY little sleep). An evening at the neighbors for a wonderful meal calmed the senses but the effects of my mood was lying heavily on my shoulder.
On the day Humphrey died, Griffin also went back to hospital and only now - 2 weeks later - looks like he is becoming a healthy dog again....
This had been one of the most emotionally exhausting few weeks of my life and the dog, the helper, my friend and my mom are still recovering...some of them may recover fully and some may not...and some definitely will not....but life moves one and I am hoping that it will just get better.. and I hope that blogging will help me move on after this sad reality of how we have our own little ideas and then life takes its own little twists and turns... getting it out there, certainly helps !
During the day it is now only me and Griffin here at home.... our Humphrey who had a name and place in our home and hearts long before he even lived here...is not with us anymore...and we are still thinking about the idea of replacing him...we are not yet at the point of a final decision about that as we are all still recovering from this painful period (and the massage I got to forget about it..) ...so, we will see and i will be back blogging about that.
Griffin - chewing on the carpet...My IDEA of this beautiful white doggy on the white carpet in front of the fireplace as the family sits around quietly...was soon replaced by the reality of the dog chewing, poo-ing and vomiting on the beautiful white carpet!! Life will never be the same again...Reality has hit home ?!
In loving memory to Humphrey - the day we found him - too shy to come out...:
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